I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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