I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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