Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
