so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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