She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
