Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
