planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
