I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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