I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize