So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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