mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
