I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
