i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
