i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
