oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
