In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
