I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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