she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
