People in love make me want to vomit
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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