She announced her abortion via fbk
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
