I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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