the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
