Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
