it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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