yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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