bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
