she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize