Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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