we have pet lesbian snakes
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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