I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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