Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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