At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
