just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
