Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i came on her dog
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
