True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
