i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
