no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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