I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
