dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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