thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize