You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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