1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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