so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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