Do vagina's smell?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I enjoy the company of your penis
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
