Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
