Midget sex pt 2 tonight
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
