Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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