I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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