so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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