I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
