I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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